skippy the bush kangaroo: top ten reasons meg whitman failed to vote for 28 years

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

top ten reasons meg whitman failed to vote for 28 years

meg whitman is a gop gubernatorial candidate and the former ceo of ebay. whitman didn't become a registered republican until 2007 and never registered to vote before 2002. whitman first told some tall-tales about her voting record, but has finally settled on explaining her lack of interest in civic affairs this way, "I was focused on raising a family, on my husband's career, and we moved many, many times."

That's a pretty poor excuse, but being a man of infinite generosity, i thought i'd offer some better excuses for candidate whitman so that she won't sound quite so astonishingly lame when explaining her disinterest in her duties as a citizen in the future.

why meg whitman never cast a vote in any election in 28 years
10. the dog ate her registration card
9. she was spending too much time in argentina with mark sanford's mistress
8. her sympathies were with the republican party and didn't think women republicans were allowed to vote.
7. she was focusing on more important things, like evading taxes, which was why she moved so many times.
6. she sent her servants to vote for her and they didn't do their jobs.
5. she registered to vote via acorn.
4. ....okay, i ran out of stuff. letterman has a whole staff of writers to come up with this stuff. how about you folks add some of your own, hmm?

posted by DBK at 9:16 AM |

5 Comments:

3. The polling place didn't have any private jet parking.

2. Democracy is for little people; I just want to tell people what to do.

1. People said no one could do worse than Arnold and I said, "Let me try."

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