s skippy the bush kangaroo: the hell with it...

skippy the bush kangaroo



Thursday, August 21, 2008

the hell with it...

i'm gay. either that, or i'm very very open to suggestion -- which i strongly doubt, because i have never been less open to suggestions of any kind than i am today. i suppose i could try to explain how this is a rather recent development in my life, considering how i never felt, or at least never thought i felt, anything resembling affection toward another man until, i dunno, a year and a half or so ago. i've read articles claiming some people go from straight to gay, or vice versa, later on in life, and maybe that's my case. but i've also read articles saying you're born one way or another, and for whatever reason, you don't come to realize it until you're older. whatever. all i know is, after spending a good deal of time trying to figure out what's going on, i've come to realize that i am not sexually interested in women. at all.

i thought i was straight, even though i tended to live more like a monk than a bachelor on the prowl. you know, that maybe i was just the sort of guy who took monogamy to borderline ridiculous lengths. nothing in my life openly suggested to me, or anyone else, that i was attracted to other men until last year or so -- i mean, had i placed chippendale calendars on my wall year after year, or maintained a subscription to playgirl magazine, that would have made it quite obvious earlier on. but... well, i just kinda noticed a certain feeling i had one day, and thought nothing of it, but then i noticed it again, and again... and again... and... you get the idea. these days, i notice it damn near all the time.

thinking it over, it actually explains quite a few personal things about me. i'm not sure i'm ecstatic about it, but i'm all right. at the absolute worst, i don't mind being gay. it's just odd how this is coming to pass.

my 2 cents.

til further on...

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posted by Jim Yeager at 6:12 PM |

15 Comments:

So what are you saying here, Jim?

Don't sugarcoat it. We're adults.
commented by Blogger Carl, 6:58 PM PDT  
yeah my question too...
May I suggest that you guys re-read the first two words of the body of this post?
commented by Blogger Jim Yeager, 9:59 PM PDT  
I long ago decided that love is where you find it, if you are lucky enough to find it in the first place. We humans are each the consequence of our personal experiences, we are multifaceted, and we are not fully the same person for even two days in a row. Perhaps your (for lack of a better word) confusion results from a disparity between your previous interpretation of what being gay is like and what being gay actually turned out to be. Best of luck and happiness to you, and like they say, the journey is the important part, not the destination. Enjoy the trip.
commented by Blogger Milo Johnson, 3:03 AM PDT  
gay or straight, all i need to know is that you are a good man, who writes extremely thoughtful and thought-provoking posts.

what matters is that you're ok with yourself, and you seem well on the way to that.

life's too short to not enjoy the ride.

cheers, fella!

--mf
commented by Anonymous Monkeyfister, 4:36 AM PDT  
Jim, I was teasing you.

Frankly, I don't care if you or anyone else is gay, straight, a chimpanzee, or an amoeba...well, except that clown that kept rubbing his cock across my ass on the train this morning that I finally elbowed in the ribs and made double over in pain, but I digress...you're my online friend, and I enjoy reading your writing, and you can be whatever you want to be.

Just don't change yourself for anyone else's sake.
commented by Blogger Carl, 6:59 AM PDT  
Milo is right--love is where you find it. Best wishes to you and yours. Thanks for a great blog.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 7:07 AM PDT  
be happy. you're a good man. that counts for what matters.
commented by Blogger The Minstrel Boy, 9:14 AM PDT  
Jim... I wouldn't want you to think I was being insensitive..or more thick brained than I usually seem to be... And I wouldn't ever make light of a person making what must be a turning point of thinking, or ethics ...or sexual preference... the nexus is not the issue, the turn and open acknowledgement is...
You are now going a different direction than previously.. I know how hard that can be and Nothing I could say or attempt to say would take the difficulty from that...
But IF it helps at all.. I was just playing the deadpan to the punchline... kidding.
Namaste old son...
Now I get the whole Ralph Nader thing I guess. ;)

Sorry you've been going through what might be a lot of confusion, but it's not like hetero life is more rational. Whatever, man, enjoy your journey and I'm glad you don't mind being gay, I hope you'll find the people that matter don't mind your being gay either.
commented by Anonymous sean, 10:38 AM PDT  
We are all male and female inside. Go with what you feel.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 12:13 PM PDT  
so, does this mean you're quitting blogging again?
commented by Blogger skippy, 12:41 PM PDT  
Well, there's one way to generate responses...

Carl and Ess: I think I was still half-asleep at the time I left that comment. Odd working schedule for me this week -- and on top that and everything else, I'm technically on vacation. Just another ordinary day.

Everybody: I've been talking about this on my own blog off and on for about two weeks now, trying to make sense of it. So far, from all the people who have responded to this topic, I have received zero negative feedback about it. That's amazing to me. I imagine sooner or later, some brainless wonder will come along and spoil that, but I'll deal with it then. Right now, I want to thank all of you for your kind words and best wishes. I knew there had to be some very good reason why I kept coming back to blogtopia after saying I was quitting. And there was.

Oh, and skippy: I've decided that if I must continue making an ass of myself, then I should at least come up with different ways to do so each time. That's long for "No," I suppose...
commented by Blogger Jim Yeager, 1:55 PM PDT  
I'm a gay man as well, and I found coming out a lot easier with support groups -- gave me a place to settle into myself again, or anew, really. Though I've also had to learn that settled isn't the same as stable, and occasionally the sight of a woman trips my trigger. It is what it is.

I hope there's a GLBT community center or PFLAG chapter near you. Go and loiter uncomfortably, everyone else there did once.
commented by Anonymous Eric, 8:53 PM PDT  
Human sexuality is a an analog spectrum, not a digital yes/no.

The knowledge of that is one of the things lost in America's current debate on gay/straight.

Do what makes you feel good and ignore the labels.

Besides, no one who doesn't want to f**k you cares. (And yes, republicans want to f**k you, just not the way you think they want to.)

p.s. I LOLed at skippy's question!
commented by Blogger The Sailor, 7:57 PM PDT  

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