s skippy the bush kangaroo: bob novak, [bodily orifice], cited after hit-and-run

skippy the bush kangaroo

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

bob novak, [bodily orifice], cited after hit-and-run

the politico is reporting that bob "valerie plame is a partisan" novak was involved in a hit-and-run with his vehicle in dc today, and was cited by police:

syndicated columnist robert d. novak was cited by police after he hit a pedestrian with his black corvette in downtown washington, d.c., wednesday morning.

a politico reporter saw novak in the front of a police car with a citation in his hand; a wjla-tv crew and reporter saw novak as well. the pedestrian, a male in his 60s, was hospitalized at george washington university hospital with minor injuries according to the metro fire department. novak was later released by police and drove away from the scene.
politico goes on to describe novak driving away from the scene, only to be chased down and detained by a guy on a bicycle:

the bicyclist was david bono, a partner at harkins cunningham, who was on his usual bike commute to work at 1700 k st. nw when he saw the accident happen…

bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a "walk" signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then novak made a right into the service lane of k street. “the car is speeding away. what’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” bono said.

he chased novak half a block down k st., finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block him and called 911. traffic immediately backed up, horns blared, and commuters finally went into reverse to allow novak to pull over.

bono said that throughout, novak "keeps trying to get away. he keeps trying to go.” he said he vaguely recognized the longtime political reporter and columnist as a washington celebrity but could not precisely place him.
novak is known to not be pre-disposed to kindness to pedestrians...

in 2001, he cursed at a pedestrian on the corner of pennsylvania avenue and 13th streets northwest for allegedly jaywalking.

“’learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’ novak snapped before speeding away,” according to an item in the washington post’s reliable source column.
this does not bode well for mr. novak. first the mclame campaign uses him shamelessly, then he runs over an old guy.

maybe he thought the guy was mclame.

addendum: via thinkprogress, here's the local abc (wjla) report:

the money quote from reporter suzanne kennedy:

i just spoke with the bicyclist about three minutes ago. he tells me that the pedestrian was actually splayed across the front of novak’s convertible, and that there would be absolutely no way novak would have not known that he had hit someone.

double addendum: jon swift tells us that the man novak hit is an obama supporter. that's one way for the gop to win...

[ed. note: jon swift updates his post to reflect the fact that he got his facts wrong; the obama supporter was the bicycling witness, not the pedestrian victim. we really should start reading this crap before citing it...]
posted by skippy at 9:40 AM |


A citation, though? Isn't hit and run an arrestable felony?
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 10:20 AM PDT  
Novak is old, maybe it's time he gave up his license. Either he hit-and-ran or he truly didn't see the person. Either way, he should be on public transport.

commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 4:29 PM PDT  

Head of State


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mission to 18th and K

The decision of a 66 year old pedestrian to splay himself across the innocent windshield of columnist Robert Novak's Corvette convertible on July 23, 2008 was made routinely, at a low level of intellectual consideration and attention, without the columnist's knowledge. Remarkably, this produced a firestorm of media attention that has yet to subside.

Witnesses' reports that Novak drove directly into the pedestrian, who was crossing on the "Walk" signal, that the pedestrian was splayed across the windshield involuntarily, as a result of being struck by Novak's vehicle, and that Novak then drove away from the scene of the hit-and-run until a witness on a bicycle chased Novak, having to repeatedly block his vehicle to prevent Novak's attempts to escape from the scene were highly unlikely, regarded by the columnist as less than definitive, and it is doubtful that Novak ever saw him. Certainly officers on 18th Street did not, before they arrived at the downtown address, attributing Novak's behavior to "reckless driving" and issuing a $50 citation.

That witness reports relied on the statements of a bicycle riding, knapsack wearing, possibly liberal and environmentalist lawyer made Novak's mission, moments earlier, the basis of unhinged Democratic accusations of "hitting a 66-year old man who was legally crossing the street" and "driving away after an accident victim was spread across the hood of your car", though these accusations were apparently forgotten by the time Novak was faced with reporters at the scene, and in response to their questions, tersely spoke.

Reluctance by the pedestrian to admit a mistake has led Democrats increasingly closer to saying that Novak dissembled about his actions when driving through the crosswalk. Even after a belated interview with TMZ, in which, in a quasi-apology rich with the dark irony for which he is noted, he stated that he was distracted while driving by "listening to NPR," finger-pointing at the events in the intersection continued. Messages between the Politico, Think Progress hashed over the quotes from witnesses, while more rational blogs speculated that the accident had been a set-up by liberal operatives, who hoped to draw attention from statements by John McCain praising the surge.

Novak's mission was created in his early crusading efforts to reform pedestrian behavior, using the clear, honest, visionary prose for which he has long been known. In 2001, he reportedly cursed at a jaywalker only blocks from the White House, on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 13th streets, intoning the command hear round the world, "Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!" Stating further in an interview that "I really hate jaywalkers...I despise them...the only other option is to run them over...", Democratic operatives unfairly concluded that Novak's compassionate calling to urban reform in fact represented a mission to splay.

That's where Bono came in. Carrying the dual monikers of a sixties counterculture radical and a 21st century shades-wearing, debt-relieving, globe-trotting liberal firebrand, the bicyclist "witness" came to notice when, cruising lightly, almost as if windsurfing, he wheeled up on his no-doubt-French-made cycle to the window of Novak's Corvette (built entirely in the U.S.A.) and "hit the window with (his) fist." Bono claimed that he stated to Novak that "you can't just hit a pedestrian and drive away." He then placed his bicycle in front of Novak's car, apparently assuming that he had the force and authority to block Novak's further egress.

Bono is not a representative of District of Columbia Traffic Agency. However, his wife, Shaunee Moon (Littletree) Bono is an agency operative on liberalization of jaywalking policy. Two senior Traffic Agency officials told me that Bono's wife suggested sending him to 18th and K to intercept Novak's Corvette. The Agency states that its counterjaywalking officials chose Bono and asked Moon (Littletree) Bono to contact him. "I will not discuss any matters regarding my wife", said Bono, when I interviewed him, "Particularly when I am splayed across the hood of your car."

During the run-up to 18th and K intercept (near the offices where he served), Bono had made oral reports to friends that "accidents are not that likely", and that "you are more likely to be injured slipping in the shower than crossing the street; after all, in the street, there are traffic signals." Notably, Bono's oral statements did not include mention of the possibility of pedestrians voluntarily launching themselves onto moving automobiles. The report of the Agency's interview with Bono remains classified.

After Novak stated that "He's not dead, that's the main thing," Bono declined any further interviews. "The story was never me," said Bono, "it was always the guy who drove directly into a 66-year old man crossing at a walk signal, who flew across his windshield, and then driving away, until repeatedly stopped by witnesses." The story, actually, is whether a covert jaywalking inducement policy, launched by an Agency operative, and executed by the spouse of that operative, should remain covert. I, for one, say no--in the Agency's, the streets' and the public interest.


Head of State

commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 9:30 PM PDT  
I've always contended that Novak wanted to (not so secretly) kill an innocent bystander .... just so he would know what Dick Cheney and Laura Bush are talking about....Not that Dick actually killed a guy (that we know of)...but Laura sure did...
Thats just how they roll on 1600 Penn.......
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 7:27 AM PDT  
"Hit and run Republican", "Hit and run Republicans", and "Hit and run Republicanism" are phrases with criminally few hits on Google.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 10:27 AM PDT  
Novak should be water boarded and tasered at the same time.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 11:38 AM PDT  
“I didn’t know I hit him. ... I feel terrible,” a shaken Novak told reporters from Politico and WJLA as he was returning to his car. "He's not dead, that's the main thing." Novak said he was a block away from 18th and K streets Northwest, where the accident occurred, when a bicyclist stopped him and said he had hit someone. He said he was cited for failing to yield the right of way.

The bicyclist was David Bono, a partner at Harkins Cunningham, who was on his usual bike commute to work at 1700 K St. N.W. when he witnessed the accident.

As he traveled east on K Street, crossing 18th, Bono said "a black Corvette convertible with top closed plows into the guy. The guy is sort of splayed into the windshield.”

Bono said that the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a "Walk" signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and that Novak then made a right into the service lane of K Street. “This car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

He said he chased Novak half a block down K Street, finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. Traffic immediately backed up, horns blaring, until commuters behind Novak backed up so he could pull over.

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