s skippy the bush kangaroo: rip red buttons

skippy the bush kangaroo



Saturday, July 15, 2006

rip red buttons

Example
never had a eulogy


red buttons, vaudeville comic turned borscht belt comedian turned broadway star turned televion personality turned movie actor turned oscar winner turned vaudeville comic, died yesterday at the age of 87. the sfchron:

red buttons, the carrot-topped burlesque comedian who became a top star in early television and then in a dramatic role won the 1957 oscar as supporting actor in "sayonara," died thursday. he was 87...

with his eager manner and rapid-fire wit, buttons excelled in every phase of show business, from the borscht belt of the 1930s to celebrity roasts in the 1990s.

his greatest achievement came with his "sayonara" role as sgt. joe kelly, the soldier in the post-world war ii occupation forces in japan whose romance with a japanese woman (myoshi umeki, who also won an academy award) ends in tragedy.
red buttons became a meme in the 50's with his nutty little dance and goofy song "strange things are happening" which became a catch-phrase with teenagers of the time.

red never stopped working. when television forgot him in the 60's, he went back to night clubs. when television forgot him in the 90's, he went back to broadway.

but he is probably most well-known for his killer routines at celebrity roasts, in which he rarely even jabbed the guest of honor, but instead went off on tangents of one-liners about famous figures from history.

we are very sorry to hear that this energetic man has passed. he was an inspiration to us growing up in the 50's and 60's, and always a delight to watch.

a performer of his stature deserves a great eulogy.

because, you know, a lot of famous people never had a eulogy...

moses, who said, i told you people, bring your pool shoes, never had a eulogy.

goliath, who said, that's not what i meant by getting stoned! never had a eulogy.

dick cheney, who said, with friends like this who needs skeets?, never had a eulogy.

samson, who said, just a little off the top, never had a eulogy.

lot, who said, honey, can you bring the salt? never had a eulogy.

romeo, who said, nice balcony, juliet! never had a eulogy.

jerome armstrong, who said, don't buy that stock, its moon in is jupiter, never had a eulogy.

da vinci, who said, yes, i've got a code! in by dose! achoo! never had a eulogy.

duncan black, who said, shorter red buttons: what a wanker, never had a eulogy.

jeff goldstein, who said, if you say disgusting things around my son i'll slap your face with my cock, never had a eulogy.

britney spears, who said, just because my marriage was short doesn't mean my attention span...what were we talking about? never had a eulogy.

markos moulitsas, who said, don't write this, skippy, never had a eulogy.

jane hamsher, who said, if viveca novak told matt cooper that scooter libby asked karl rove to deny robert novak knew when joseph wilson could...ah, forget it, now even i'm confused, never had a eulogy.

randall "duke" cunningham, who said, you can get the bill on the floor, senator, i'll get shirley and tiffany on the floor, never had a eulogy.

armando, who said, fuck you. no joke here, just fuck you. never had a eulogy.

joe lieberman, who said, i have loyalties bigger than the party, unless the party is thrown by a pharmaceutical company, never had a eulogy.

glenn reynolds, who said, i'll just link to your eulogy, never had a eulogy.

george w. bush, who said, find osama bin laden? i can't even spell osama bin laden! never had a eulogy.

tom tomorrow, who said, if this joke was funnier, i'd draw a cartoon about it, never had a eulogy.

mad kane, who said what ever she said as a limerick, never had a eulogy.

bill bennett, who said, i'll be happy to autograph your copy of the "book of virtues," mistress dominique, never had a eulogy.

alan colmes, who never said anything because sean hannity kept interrupting him, never had a eulogy.

maryscott o'connor, who said angry? me? what makes you say that you mother f*cking c*ck s*cker!!??!!! never had a eulogy.

bill frist, who said, there's more than one way to skin a cat, and i invented most of 'em, never had a eulogy.

jason leopold, who said, my sources tell me that this joke's going to be hilarious any day now, i swear, never had a eulogy.

ann coulter, who said, give me liberty or give me death, sure, i wrote that, never had a eulogy.

diebold, who said, we took a vote on if this routine is funny, and it's not, never had a eulogy.

brad friedman, who said, i demand a recount, never had a eulogy.

cynthia mckinney, who said, i'm a sitting congresswoman, i don't need to laugh at this joke, never had a eulogy.

steven bradbury, who said, we had to make "the president is always right" doctrine official, because otherwise he gets really, really depressed and starts drinking again, never had a eulogy.

jeffrey skilling, who said, well, that's one way to get out of it, ken, never had a eulogy.

skippy, the bush kangaroo, who said, buy a tee shirt, never had a eulogy.
but we know that red buttons, one of the funniest men to grace god's green earth, is deserving of the best eulogy possible.

rest in peace, red.
posted by skippy at 9:21 PM |

1 Comments:

The one I loved was "As Brigham Young said, if you're going to bring'em, bring'em young."
commented by Blogger egutman, 10:09 AM PDT  

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